That darn cat

Almost three years ago, a friend and I launched a 20-somethings group at our church. It's morphed several times since that time, and now consists of two weekly Bible study groups that get together regularly for fun events and service projects.

Anytime a new ministry is started from scratch, it's a struggle, and this group has been no exception. But finally over the last couple of months, we've all gotten into a groove. The groups have been growing closer and we’ve enjoyed each other’s company and friendship.

Enter the cat.

I'm deathly allergic to cats. I've had allergy tests twice, and I've assured the doctor poking me with the allergens that the cat one need not be tested. However, when they test for cat allergies anyway, the sample swells up so much that it is off the charts/other doctors and nurses gather around to gawk at the freaky allergic girl.

No one suspects my debilitating allergy since cats aren’t something I run across in every day life. But anytime I'm invited to a house for a church activity, bridal shower or a new friend's for dinner, I have to ask the dreaded question that sounds so much like I'm trying to get out of something: "Do you have a cat?" If a cat has so much been in the vicinity, and if I don't feel like being hospitalized that day, I have to decline attendance.

That's why it was such a shocker that after three years, I had to step down from Bible study. Our leaders—who also host the group—got a cat. Obviously I can't begrudge someone for getting a pet, and the leaders are good friends and great leaders. So, I let them know about my allergy, and sadly would need to find another group. I won’t lie—it sucked. I like my group. I started thinking about the process of finding another group within our church of over 1,000, and it about my nauseous.

However, after many emails back and forth with the leaders, they said the group would be meeting on the porch to accommodate me. I tried to argue that that was asking too much, but they would have none of it and it was a done deal.

Wow. Talk about guilt. As I showed up for the group, eight other people are sitting outside in the heat, in the dark, with bugs flying around … because of me. It was truly humbling.

As a single person, I know that I don't often have to make that many sacrifices. The biggest sacrifice in my average day is going to lunch at some place I don't prefer, cleaning up after my dogs (yuck), or meeting a friend on her side of town instead of mine. Not exactly major life adjustments.

But, the flip side of that is I don't have to receive sacrifices either. Not goats slain at my door (thankfully) … but other people adjusting their lives on my behalf. It hit me that while everyone talks about how marriage is full of sacrifice, I don't think of accepting someone's gift of sacrifice. I think of married people accepting thoughtfulness—receiving flowers, attending a sucky event together, remembering to ask about a certain occasion. Lovely, happy things that make both parties feel better.

But, let me tell you, sacrifice—receiving and giving when it's not convenient—is a learned art. It is hard knowing that other people are giving up their comfort indefinitely for you. It’s truly, truly humbling to remember once again I’m not super girl … and that I need people to do life together with me.

So, thank you to my dear friends—in Bible study and beyond—that care enough about me to adjust their lives for me. And for helping to teach me a little more about what sacrifice really means.

Lessons from a five year old

As I was sitting at the chiropractor's office last night, waiting (and waiting) to be called back to the little room, two kids whirled about in the waiting room. God bless her, one of the nurses came and put on The Lion King for the kids.

The approximately five year old boy ran up to the TV and grabbed the only kiddie chair, put it an adequate distance from the TV and ... motioned for the four year old little girl to take a seat. Without even hesitating or complaining, he headed back to the "adult" seating, where he could barely see the TV, to settle in to watch the video.

The nurse and I stared at each other in disbelieve that a little kid, with no parents in sight, would be that chivalrous to another random little girl. Unphased, the kids just chatted on about what was going to happen in The Lion King.

It's funny how a little moment that no one else even thinks twice about can give you hope and sadness all in the same breath.

I was a little disappointed at the anticlimactic event that was our company picnic/Olympics. With Olympic events that included a rubberband shooting contest, coffee cup relay (complete with "tagging off" by dumping coffee in the next person’s cup), and task chair rowing (where six people roll their task chairs about 50 yards across the parking lot as a group)—the recipe for disaster was so delicious I could almost taste it.

I mean, the last time we had this so-called morale building event, one person ended up at the emergency room for cracking their head during the task chair fiasco, while another one was out for the count … so at the VERY least, someone should have snapped themselves in the eye with a rubberband.

But instead? Nothing.

I cheered on those that enjoy these types of humiliating events/those that were guilted into participating. We had BBQ chicken and rolls (sans dessert—the key missing ingredient to the day). We got out of over two hours of work and got to wear casual clothes to work for the first work day in two years.

DANG IT. Maybe I’ll have a better story next year.

But for now ... pictures:

When I left Nashville almost four years ago, Jack-in-the-Box (or as I affectionally call it, Salmonella Central) was advertising their new milk shakes with that annoying styrofoam ball head scary-ass clown. I didn't even realize I hadn't seen that annoying clown head bobbing about until today, while in Plano, Texas for a quick work trip, I saw the company's new commercial.

Now the fast food chain with an overwhelming plethara of toxic fast food choices that range from burgers to tacos to egg rolls is now advertising that their shakes come with whipped cream and a cherry. ta-da!

And the world turns. :)

Who's with me on totally loving Love bug season??


 

Pin the shorts on the hootchie

I got the new issue of Entertainment Weekly today at work. On the cover this week is Eva Longoria wearing fishnets and what appear to be some hotshort undies.

See exhibit A.


Since I work at a Christian company, often magazine covers with scantily clad women get ripped off. Well in an attempt to rescue the cover so that everyone could see Eva's haughty pose and the layers and layers of hair extensions that would make Paris Hilton jealous, I decided to make some shorts through the magic of a Sharpie.

See exhibit B.



Realizing that the Sharpie didn't quite do the trick, I decided Ms. Longoria needed to look a bit more fabulous for her EW cover shot ... And what could be more fabulous than some Post-it note 7 for all Mankind brand shorts? (A shout-out to Uhmanduh for fashioning her some pockets).

See exhibit C.




As I was showing off her lovely new outfit to my office-mates, my editor came wandering in and raised his eyebrow a bit at my afternoon activity of cut-and-paste. So, imagine my surprise when just a few minutes later he bursts into my office with a change of clothing for Eva--this year's hot fashion accessory, nonetheless--a gold rainjacket made from construction paper.

Why did he have construction paper in his office? I have no idea. But the jacket fit PERFECTLY even though he didn't have the magazine cover to use as a guide. Lets just say I laughed like I haven't laughed in a long time.

See exhibit D.


I hope Eva appreciates what we've done for ... It's all in a day's work.

I can't quite figure out what is going on in this delightful figurine, perfect for any home... but if I were to guess ... at first glance it appears that this nun got knocked up and is now caring for her newborn child while trying to lose the pregnancy weight??

But, maybe I'm completely off base here.

iWant One

Who's excited with me?



After holding myself back from buying the first Video iPod that came out last year ... holding onto my ghetto B&W 3rd generation model while all my friends laughed and pointed while toting around their full color sleek black or white models ... I think this may be my year.

Goodbye ghettoness ... Hello Gen 5.

Bahama Mama

I just got back from a four day cruise to the Bahamas with my mom. I'm so lucky to live in Florida near the ports. After all the s-t-r-e-s-s of late, it was really nice to relax on the boat.

They rerouted us so we did the cruise backwards in order to avoid a storm, and it worked--we had beeaaautiful weather almost the entire time. We enjoyed pigging out on the chocolate buffet (who knew chocolate bread pudding could taste like little bits of heaven?), watching the men's sexy legs contest with awards such as "Flamingo Legs" and "Hairiest Legs," and wandering around the aquarium at Atlantis and through the shops in Nassau.

One thing a cruise does make you appreciate so very much is your own bathroom. While you are pampered at every corner on a cruise like your standard deluxe resort--room service on demand, a stateroom attendant that cleans your room not once but twice a day, delicious food and desserts, a 24 hour pool ... the bathroom makes you feel like you are in an RV/camping. It's easy to touch both walls without fully spreading out your arms, and the shower is so small you can't bend over ... and the one inch lip doesn't quite contain the water. haha Now that I've returned, I feel like I should hold swing dance lessons in my ginormous bathroom.

My Bahamas trip was not only sandwiched by two weddings (Matt & Jamey's then Chris & Heather's), but also between two trips to Disney. The day before I left, I took two friends from N.D. that were in town for my bro's wedding to MGM. They had never been to Disney before, so we had a blast riding rides and laughing as we dashed through the steady rain. Then, on the very day we returned, mom and I took a quick nap before heading off to Night of Joy at the Magic Kingdom to meet Amanda & Sean and hit the rides, including the newly updated Pirates of the Caribbean, complete with a very realistic Captain Jack Sparrow.

After being out for 10 days, It was pretty hard going back to the real world today to an inbox of 370 emails and an office that was beyond stifling as the AC went out over the weekend (for those of you that are keeping track—yes Again).

However, it's always nice to be welcomed back by great friends. Even through my tired haze, I had a great time with S&A at Disney, then got to dance the night away with lots of friends at C&H's wedding.

So, here’s to O-town. :-)

Sporty Spice

My little 4lb toy poodle, Zoe, got up this morning and wasn't her usually jumpy Excited To Be Alive self. Instead, she got out of her little bed/cage and sat on my feet. Since my mom and grandma are staying with me, they kept an eye on her when I went off to work and said she was crying everytime she walked.

So, little Zoe had to go to the vet today. The vet said she dislocated her knee cap, and he had to pop both her back knees in. Now she is on prednisone. Yuck.

I'm really not sure what happened to cause this injury. The only thing I can figure is that maybe she's been playing too much volleyball while I'm at work. I heard murmurs of her wanting to turn pro, but she's been debating about holding out to play in the next Olympics.

I guess she threw that all away with this injury. Too bad. She had a mean spike too.

Yada, Yada, Yada ... I didn't get a lot of sleep last night

I met up with my friend Suz and her fiancee Tom after dinner to grab coffee and chat. We all got to catch up at the lovely Coffee Cafe, then went to my house to see their engagement pictures on my laptop.

Afterwards, still battling my ongoing sickness (we're at almost two weeks now kids!), I took a shower and went to bed. I read for a bit, eyes got droopy, rolled over to go to sleep and ... my mind was going a million miles an hour. I was thinking about friends, work, wedding, sickness, family ... AH!

I've been blaming my antibiotics (we're at almost two weeks now kids!) for the restless sleep I've been getting, but this was seriously ridiculous.

That's when it hit me. The nice little man behind the counter at the Coffee Cafe must have ignored that one little word that means so much ....

Decaf.

"I want to put DIAMONDS on my FACE!"

Sometimes I think the episode of Arrested Development where Lindsey wants Michael to spring for some face cream with real crushed up diamonds in it, is really not that much of an exaggeration.

My mom and I went to get our pre-wedding make-overs for my brother's wedding, so we did a trial run with the make-up artist, who is amazing and I love to pieces.

She put some high-end Yves Saint Laurent lip gloss on me and said "it's 24 karat gold!" Thinking this means it's the cutesy name for the lip gloss with a gold lid, I just smiled and puckered up.

When I went to look in the mirror I noted it had some gold shimmer to it. She said, "IT'S REAL GOLD! It has 24 karat gold in it!" This instantly worried me. "How do you not get poisoned consuming gold?!? Is there just so little that it's okay??"

She seemed none-to-concerned, shrugging and reiterating that It's REAL GOLD!

So, yeah ... for about $25 a tube, you too can have GOLD on your FACE. :)

Happy Birthday to Me

I've discovered that the best part about being reminded that you are officially old is that assorted companies have figured out they can win over customers/talk them into spending money that they weren't planning to spend under the guise of Birthday Gift rewards.

So far I have received the following:

DSW Shoes: $5 off
Gap: $15/off with $60 purchase
Victoria's Secret: $10
Express: $15 off (this one expired before my birthday so that one is dumb)
Hallmark: $4 off (I guess so I can buy my own card in case I'm feeling bad about the day?)
Kohls: 15% off

I haven't received birthday greetings from my State Farm insurance agent yet though, so that kind of bums me out.

The test

I recently went to a wedding dress fitting for my sister-in-law-to-be. She bought her dress at the same place where my friend Jen got her dress and I had heard tell from both of them of the guy that worked there and how it was hard to tell if he was gay. In my mind, I couldn't figure out how a guy could work at a wedding dress place without being gay, but then again I have a straight-and-proud hair guy, so you just never know.

So the test began the moment I walked in the door to the non-air-conditioned shop in downtown Orlando. I had to find out. Why I cared about a stranger's sexual preference, I don't know, I guess it was something for me to do while I waited.

The very flamboyant man that greeted us at the door had a bit of a rustic lumberjack beard and pretty brown eyes. Not bad looking, but was wearing some sort of old, really bad semi-Hawaiian button down type of shirt with some Wal-mart-esque jeans.

As Jamey headed back to the dressing room, the radio was blaring. I guess it was the Pussycat Dolls as he asked me if I was familiar with the group. I said I'd heard of them. But he wanted to know if I KNEW them... I was like "Well they are strippers right? They are strippers that formed a pop group."

My stripper accusation seemed to miff him a bit as he went off on how he had seen them live and they were ever-so-talented and just as beautiful as their pictures. Hmmm I can't imagine any of my straight friends singing along to the Pussycat Dolls (except Matty of course), but I can't imagine a gay guy going on about the beauty of female stripper-slash-singers. The puzzler continued.

Back to Jamey: He told her she needed to get some color. She agreed; we all discussed different fake tan or fake bake options.

Then I hit the jackpot.

Wedding guy said he had been at a nightclub recently and one of the male dancers was trying to help define his six pack by putting fake tanner on in streaks to outline the abs, and that it looked just ridiculous. Stripes on the male dancer's stomach. Oh the laughing. Oh the confirmation.

They don't call me an investigatory journalist for nothing.

The blood.

Last week, I was going over the work schedule with someone at our company, and mentioned that one of my favorite freelancer's mother died after a long battle with cancer, and that we needed to give her some grace in getting her work into us. Her response?

"Oh we need to cover her in the blood!"

Not one for discussing or mentioning blood myself (it kind of grosses me out really--the visual of literally covering someone in blood), I supposed that this was just her way of saying we needed to pray for her, so I agreed and moved on.

At least twice since then, she has said the same thing: "we need to pray the blood!" or "we just need to cover them in the blood."

Today I returned to work, admittedly a little grumpy and still not feeling great after my eardrum rupturing incident on Thursday. She blazed into my office, raised her hands in the air and declared "the blood" over me. With my boss standing over my shoulder, I muttered a snippy reply under my breath (which she didn't hear) as she left.

I would bet that she read a book or heard a sermon on the importance of Christ's blood and how it holds the power to answer prayer. For the next two or three weeks, the blood will be of utmost imporatance ... until another pastor or author or radio DJ comes along and tells her something ELSE is the most important, and she focuses on that for a spell.

It's funny how we in the Christian community find these little things and just latch onto them, grasping at any way to better connect with our Lord. Some are great, some are life changing .... others seem to just get in the way of what is important.

Doesn't Jesus/God/Holy Spirit hold the power? Are things like praying the blood getting her closer to God? Or is it just refocusing her attention, making her feel good about her prayer life?

It just worries me when people latch onto things like the blood, as if it is the good luck charm to get you in good with The Man Upstairs. I appreciate someone's effort to think of me in prayer, but I really don't like the idea of someone thinking they have the special key that gets their "prayer emails" pushed to the top of God's Inbox.

Prayer is serious business. Sure, it can be said quietly in your head in the middle of the street or outloud and a huge rally. God is always listening, but we are talking to the creator of the universe, the Savior of our souls ... not a genie in a bottle.

Praying is not wishing on a star or blowing out a birthday candle. Declaring the blood, or praying on a rosary and saying the magic Jabez prayer is not your ticket to get what you want when you want, compliments of God.

Next time she offers me the blood, I'm just going to have to ask why... and I know this will lead to a half hour one-sided conversation where she tells me about the latest book she read. Maybe I'll somehow find a way to tell her how I'm really thankful that God doesn't require magic phrase to unlock his ear. God give me grace. Thankfully, he's bigger than my little hang-ups, too. :)

Being sick sucks. Not only the feeling miserable, but the sitting around for days all by yourself and the consuming of more television than should be legal while becoming one with the couch ... It's times like this that one wishes they didn't live 2,000 miles from family. I guess I'll just enjoy my prescription pain pills laced with narcotics that the doc gave me yesterday (while they last).

A long time coming

Yeah. I'm totally a blog slacker. I have friends traveling across Europe that manage to post blogs at least once a day, and here I am, in front of a PC for 9 hours a day and I haven' t posted anything for a month. It's been a strange stressful time that has both rocked my world while at the same time seemingly nothing has changed. I feel stuck and on a fast track. It's weird.

A few things from the past month:

- Some of the girls at work and I have started doing Pilates twice a week at lunch. We call ourselves the Pontius Pilates. I'm pretty sure we're going to hell for that.
- My brother got engaged to one of my friends/is getting married over Labor Day.
- I have discovered Tab Energy Drink. This stuff is delish, gives a buzz and has 5 little calories. It tastes like a liquid Jolly Rancher or SweetTarts.
- My mom and I booked a cruise to the Bahamas. We found a super cheap rate so we just went for it! I'm excited ... and a little nervous to be on a boat with just my mom for that long. I think we will have a good and relaxing time though. I can't wait to snorkel!
- My friend Suz returned from playing missionary in the D.R. Hooray! We've been working on her wedding and I get to meet her fiancé next week!
- I got a filling fixed at 7 a.m. this morning (Again, thank God for Tab Energy ... zzzzzz). The dentist told me not to brush my teeth for at least 12 hours. I have NEVER heard the words "don't brush" come out of a dentist's mouth.

that's all for now kids ...
xoxo,
-marcia

The day Jesus came to visit

Friday was the last day everyone was in the office before our industry's BIG ANNUAL CONVENTION, which started yesterday. I was being left behind to hold down the fort, but everyone was a little loopy from trying to get XY and Z done before they left.

Lets just say that it was not a good day for us to get a six foot painting of Jesus lugging around a guy in Diesel jeans into the office. It was shipped to us as it was a winner in an awards show I oversaw, so we needed it for photographing purposes.

One minute I was sitting in my office, working away at my PC... and the next minute my boss was baracading me in with the monster painting. So there I was, staring at life-size Jesus and Diesel jeans guy. It's quite distracting, really.


So what was a girl to do but line up her Jesus action figures and snap photos? Little Jesus doesn't even come up to the toes of Painting Jesus!

L to R: Moses (with Shield), Angel, Jesus and Job (in his formative years--covered in boyles)

One of my dumber moments

So last night I got home from work/running errands and just had on my Adidas sports bra and my Reebok exercise pants. Yes, I was mixing-and-matching my sports brands--a huge mistake apparently.

I was cooking some corn in the microwave and pulled it out/didn't realize how much water was left in it... and somehow dumped it completely down my stomach. (Don't ask how, I really really have no idea.)

O-M-G Pain of all Pains. It's like the kind of pain where your body completely goes numb and then you spend the next few hours feeling like your whole body is on fire.

Quite ironically, the nearest cold thing to slap on my stomach was the bag of frozen corn. when that needed to return to its rightful home on the freezer shelf, I slept on an ice pack.

Still this morning, it looks like someone took an extra wide paint brush and painted a sunburn on my stomach. It's one lovely brush stroke down the entire length of my tummy (from sports bra to pants line). I am now sitting at my desk with an ice pack under my shirt/waiting for it to go numb again (X-tra Hott. The Boys will come a-runnin'.)

Life Lesson: I would recommend wearing a shirt--perhaps two or three--even when doing something seemingly innocent like microwaving corn.

Friday on Monday

I hadn't eaten at Friday's for lunch in awhile, but since we had our department birthday lunch there today, I was up for an adventure.

Since there is such a big group of us, we order ahead and fax the menu over. I wrote down the Jack Daniels chicken with veggies and when noon rolled around, I was ready to dine.

It was pretty good, but my lunch bill was $18! EIGHTEEN DOLLARS FOR CHICKEN, ICED TEA and (included) GRATUITY!!

I wouldn't be so annoyed if I got two meals out of it, but it was two glorified grilled chicken strips with a teeny tiny side of Jack sauce.

Seriously, Friday's: You need to get a lunch menu immediately. Immediately.