There has been much news hype about the latest energy drink, Cocaine, and it's controversial name. The makers, Redux, have finally decided to pull it from the shelf and package it under a new name (TBD).

But the best quote comes from a CBS News report:

"Of course, we intended for Cocaine energy drink to be a legal alternative the same way that celibacy is an alternative to premarital sex," Ivey said. "It's not the same thing and no one thinks it is. Our product doesn't have any cocaine in it. No one thinks that it does. We think it is most likely legal in the United States to ship our product."

WHAT? Cocaine the energy drink is like saving sex for marriage??

Junkie to Cocaine beverage consumer: "I see you're practicing abstinence."
Consumer: "Yeah. I really just want to wait until that special shipment comes along. It will all be worth it in the end."

I'm still laughing.

Bundled minutes are so last year...

Top uses of cell phone:

1. To check the time
2. Text messaging

(In a recent teen study conducted by Teenage Research Unlimited and reported in da news.)

The ride of my life

While I'm on an honesty kick ... bus drivers scare me. A lot.

There is the bus driver that twirls his hand in the air as he drives like he is conducting an orchestra and stomps his foot in what I can only assume is some sort of OCD. There was the bus driver that yelled at everyone that was getting on the bus to "HURRY UP, come on come on!!" As if he was in a timed race. And paid by the customer. There was the one that was eating a full course meal on their lap while they drove. There was the day a bus driver I get regularly recognized me (Screech ... this makes me a commuter and a Bus Person. Ack.) ...

But yesterday really took the cake.

In general, I've noticed that the bus driver rule is to honk when you run yellow-to-red lights. Yes. They simply honk as they are holding up traffic to race through the intersection. (Does this rule apply to me? If I would have honked while running the red light would I have avoided that lovely "Welcome to California" $400 ticket?)

But this driver's mantra had to be "honk early, honk often." He honked at least twice per block ... and I was on the bus for 20 minutes. That, my friends, is a LOT of honking. I started paying attention, trying to figure out what he was honking about--were there cars around? Not necessarily. Pedestrians flinging themselves in front of the bus unknowingly? Not that I saw.

But, what really threw him into a honking fit was the Time Warner cable guy. After about 20 honks, he finally got the Time Warner guy's attention, who was waiting at the light in the lane next to us. He then proceeded to ask the guy how he could get cable in his house! "How do I get the cable to my downtown home?" Uhhh... Yeah. I think they have a phone number and a Web site for that. I mean, did he expect Time Warner van man to say "Oh let me follow you there now? I'm sure your passengers won't mind."

The somewhat tense "why is this guy honking like a maniac??" bus erupted in laughter... and when the light turned that first hint of green, off he zoomed to continue his honking rampage.

I invented the piano key necktie ... what have YOU done, Derek?

Confessions: I think Zoolander is hysterical. While living in Florida, it was one of my top-quoted movies ... and now that I've moved to California, I made Geoff watch the movie (almost immediately--stuff was still in boxes) and have sucked him into the quotability. Yeah yeah yeah, I'm a terrible influence.

But, for those of you that are also fans ... you can only imagine my reaction when I went to Starbucks (yes, the one at the laundromat) this morning and they asked me if I'd like to try an Orange Mocha Frappuccino!!

I literally burst out laughing. I mean ... the reason the model-slash-actors-and-not-the-other-way-around ordered them is that it was SO ridiculous and SO disgusting, right?? Just to check myself, I Googled Orange Mocha Frappuccino and all references were to Zoolander, NOT an actual beverage.

But I really have to hand it to Starbucks for coming out with this drink (about five years too late--hello missed cross-promotional opportunity) ... I mean, I can't think of a better beverage to have in my hand if I were to die from a sudden freak gasoline fight incident.

Ladies and gentlemen of the class of '97

Wear sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it.

The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, ............
whereas the rest of my advice has no basis
more reliable than my own meandering experience.

(Geoff and I learned this one the hardway this weekend... we went to Huntington Beach on a nice, not so hot today ... and got fried. I put some sunscreen on, but the back of my legs are lobster-riffic; Geoff got hit even worse. It is now Monday night and my legs are still swollen/hurts to walk... he can barely move. Please post your sympathies.... now.)

Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse.
But you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it.

Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal,
wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen.

-Baz Luhrman

Why I heart Geoff

He buys me .39 Taco Seasoning Mix from Rite-Aid.


How affordable is that?

A short review of Spiderman III

It's sure good to see Lowell Mather from Wings finding work these days.
It's too bad he resorted to blowing everything away though.



Overall, two thumbs up.

Would you rather...

• Stay home when you are sick/haven't slept the night before, but roast all day in an apartment with no AC when it's 90 degrees out

- or -

• Prop yourself up at your desk at work where there is AC

Achoooooo!
And ugh.

This morning on the news they were carrying on about how much humidity we were going to have today... And then, with as much disbelief as they could muster, the morning news crew let us know that we were going to have 14% humidity today.

Wait a minute ... 14%!?!? Give me a freaking break. I have more humidity than that in my little finger.

Move to Florida where we have over 100% humidity (how is that possible? Isn't 100% raining? I am still unclear on the aerodynamics of that one), then we will talk.

Tour guide for Jesus

Our Bible Study is going through 40 Days of Community, Rick Warren's latest ...

This week, we were talking about evangelism and trying to be intentional about sharing our faith. One guy mentioned the fear that I think we all have (I know I have), that someone will ask a question we don't have the answer to. How will we represent God well if we can't be super-Christian and have a biblically based response for any doubt our potential convert might have?

One of the girls in our group made a simple but profound observation: We aren't tour guides for Jesus. We are on the journey too. And that's okay.

Isn't that so true? It isn't our job to make God look good (I don't really think he needs our help--he is God, creator of the universe), and we shouldn't feel like we need to know all of God's statistics and lifetime achievements. It's okay to be real and honest and tell people we don't know something, to tell them we'd like to research that/look into it and would love to talk about it again later.

It's such a relief really... to realize we can be completely honest with people and not try to have a PR spin on something as important as God and eternity.

Why do we always try to make things so hard? :)

Trend Alert.

Cupcakes are so en vogue right now.

Apparently they are no longer for four-year-olds' birthday parties anymore. Oh no.
There are now shops sent up exclusively for the sake of the wonder that is the cupcake. In fact, the Hollywood glitteratti are known to pay $4 a pop for cupcakes with imported ingredients from Europe at Sprinkles in Beverly Hills. It's Oprah's favorite afterall. And I have to admit ... they are delish.

We have The Frosted Cupcakery in Long Beach, a tiny shop with only a display case of the flavors-of-the-day. So exclusive in fact, that they just close up shop on Mondays and Tuesdays. (I mean, who eats cupcakes on Mondays and Tuesdays?!? You are obviously so last year.) And while you are there, don't forget a Pupcake for Sparky...

Okay cupcakes factories, I put in a good word for ya ... now where's my chocolate-covered kick-back? :)

Today the illegal immigrants were having a march in downtown LA, so that meant all the public transportation was jacked up. Specifically, all the public transportation *I* needed to take was jacked up.

Thankfully one of the girls in my office lives in the same town as me and was willing to drive in
with me. I grabbed Rupert the GPS and we were off... ("Right turn ahead" "Thank you, Rupert")

On the way home, we were in the midst of about eight lanes of all but dead locked
traffic and she said "Okay up here it's going to get congested."

"Is it not congested here?"

"OH no, this is good! We are actually moving a little bit."

Oh.

I think I'll stick with the train.